30 jokes and sentences about paintings and painters
  1. Why did the painter go to jail? Because he committed an art crime!
  2. How do painters make money? By selling their masterpieces and working on the side as brush salesmen.
  3. Did you hear about the artist who painted with cheese? He made a real impression-stilton.
  4. What's the best way to become a famous painter? Spill paint all over yourself and run through an art gallery.
  5. What do you call a painter with a cold? Vincent Van Gogh!
  6. Why don't painters like to date other painters? They're too canvas-oriented.
  7. Why did the painter quit his job? He didn't get enough brush strokes.
  8. Why do painters always have to keep an eye on their brushes? They don't want them to brush off.
  9. What's a painter's favorite type of sandwich? One that's been freshly brushed with mayonnaise.
  10. What did the painting say to the wall? I've got you covered.
  11. What do you call a painting by a cat? A purrtrait.
  12. Why did the painter always paint outside? Because he didn't want to be framed.
  13. Why did the painter never do any work? He was waiting for his muse to paint the town red.
  14. How do you know if a painter is successful? When they have a palette full of green!
  15. Why do painters always carry their paintings on their backs? They're trying to make an impression.
  16. What do you call a group of painters that are always arguing? A brush fire.
  17. Why did the artist never use a paintbrush? He always finger painted.
  18. Why did the painter get into a fight with the sculpture? He thought he was too two-dimensional.
  19. What do you call a painter who's always in a bad mood? A canvas-back duck.
  20. Why did the artist refuse to paint any portraits of vegetables? He didn't want to be accused of still life painting.
  21. What did the art dealer say to the thief who stole a painting? You've made a real art heist.
  22. Why did the painter have to take an art class? He couldn't draw a blank.
  23. Why did the painter use his own blood in his paintings? He wanted to make them more hematological.
  24. What do you call a painting that can move and talk? Art-ificial intelligence.
  25. Why did the painter paint himself as a tiny figure in the corner of the painting? He wanted to make himself smaller than life.
  26. Why did the artist paint himself in a suit of armor? He wanted to protect his artistic vision.
  27. What did the painter say when he finished painting the Mona Lisa? "Eh, it's just a Lisa."
  28. Why did the painter always carry a ladder with him? He was looking for a higher perspective.
  29. What do you call a painting that has a lot of birds in it? A feathered masterpiece.
  30. Why did the painter refuse to paint any flowers? He didn't want to be a pansy artist.
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